Authentic Community

People these days talk a lot about defining community, be it family, neighborhoods, church, social groupings, labor unions, corporations, cities, even nations. When I was a kid, these concepts seemed more clearly defined, set in stone even. Things have changed – and I’m not sure all for the worse. Sometimes the good old days don’t always look so good in retrospect. For sure, they weren’t perfect. Today’s dysfunctions are rooted in yesterday.

I got to thinking out loud on an email with a friend this morning. We’ve each been going through transition in community relationships the past couple of years.

A lesson I’ve been learning is that even when you think you are on target as a community, you can be completely off based and not know it until you find yourselves in a crisis. It is then you discover deep anxieties hidden which surface only when a fresh issue presents itself.

This is the real test of any community of any size. I used to think that organizational size mattered. But I've seen things done well and things done not so well and size doesn't seem to be a significant factor. What really counts is how well the community connects individuals relationally and how thoroughly the community works to develop the giftings of every member – every one of them. Not just initially, but ongoing.

The test is not how well a community functions when things are going smoothly, but how well it functions in crisis. As with individuals, crisis reveals a community’s true character. We saw this played out with Hurricane Katrina – the cracks in the levees were minor compared with society’s fault lines. This is a principle of character more than philosophy or structure. Often times structural flaws show, but they are usually symptoms of much deeper defects in corporate vision and philosophy which are, in the end, mere reflections of that community’s heart. All looks good on paper, but doesn’t pass the test. It has to be in the community’s character DNA, regardless of what is said or printed or posted.

When you go through such a community crisis as an individual, you hopefully come out still very relationship-committed to the core. Yet you may have to take time to get back to where you trust yourself in close relational quarters again. You know you will get there, but you can’t rush it. Time doesn’t necessarily heal all, but it is part of the healing process.

Everyone may be ready to move on, but there is a subterranean shifting going on individually and corporately that will take distance to sort out. Relational trauma has occurred and that is not easily glossed over. Doesn't necessarily mean you obsess as a community or as individuals, just means you remain alert to triggers down the road.

Occasionally, subtle signs show that you are still working things out. How we deal with these matters varies, but the main thing is not ignoring the signs and remembering they are symptoms of something going on at a deeper level. Fact is we are in a grieving process – something God-given and healthy. I, for one, am learning that I don't move on by ignoring pain. I move on by embracing and processing the pain. May not sound fun, but it is healthy and authentic.