A newcomer to digital social networks like Facebook, I’ve noticed how people spout and move on. Occasionally I subject myself to bombastic talk radio. Even more rarely do I tune in to people shouting at each other on the TV. What I see and hear and shy away from are people freely expressing generalized sound bytes that come across more like rants than invitations to further discussion. They are throwing up regurgitated hash and leaving a foul smell in their wake.
These same people get lost, confused or defensive if you respond in a way that attempts to open up the discussion. What is missing, sadly, in so much of our modern world is thoughtful dialog. Is it lack of time or just lack of interest?
One of my favorite pastimes when we lived in China was stopping by to visit a friend in the open market or dropping in on a friend at his or her work post. In much of the Asian culture, two rules of social intercourse are paramount. One, you don’t just jump into business, you slide into it after taking time to catch up on life a bit and inquire after one’s parents and ask, “have you eaten yet”. Two, you don’t shove an issue in another person’s face; you slide into it as delicately as you can.
This sliding approach sounds far too indirect to us Westerners given to in-your-face Jerry Springer style relating. But the social slide is a multi-millennial habit formed to preserve a bit of mutual social respect and courtesy in even the most heated of conflagrations. The goal of dialog is making or keeping a friend, not winning an argument.
I think about this as I switch off an AM radio talk show and seek a moment of quiet on a local classical music station. The Chinese have a saying, which basically means you purposely go down your friend’s path with him for a while so that he will be willing to return the favor and walk down your path with you. The idea is that I listen to what my friend is saying and seek to understand where she is coming from, and then that friend will be willing to do the same with me, listening to my point of view. We both gain out of it.
One of my favorite books is E. Stanley Jones’ Christ at the Round Table. The book is hard-to-read by easy-reading modern standards, filled as it is with the dialogs Jones had with a variety of thinking people – Hindus, Sikhs, Muslims, Christians, Nonbelievers even – in a setting where the playing field was leveled and everyone was given full opportunity to express ideas and ask questions.
I don’t fear for our modern civilization as long as priority is given to thoughtful insights and honest probing. The truth is that truth, given a fair and equal hearing, will in the end win out. The person who has the truth is not afraid of truth being lost as long as it can be expressed.
As a Believer I am confident that when all views are given equal opportunity of expression the Jesus I know will shine brightest. I don’t need to shout him; I just need to allow him to be revealed.
Share ideas that are contrary to politically correct speech whether you be in church or in the country club and there are sure to be those who will question your credentials. “Where there is smoke, there is fire,” they say. “Surely you are one of Them.”
And yet, long before modern democratic ideals welcomed open discourse, Jesus provided a safe place for just such an openness. Too many moderns fear compromise. They exaggerate the effect of open investigation. The enemy is not the opposing view; the enemy is a closed mind.
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